Sugarmouth

The Once and Former Blogger

2009-07-23T15:10:00.004-05:00

I've been asked more than once recently if I was still blogging. I guess the reasonable answer, despite this post, would be no.

See, when I was working on blog 1.0 (13 days from monday), I was working from home and spending countless hours in front of the computer screen, mindlessly surfing the infinite expanse of the 'net about as much as I was actually working.

I quit that blog once I realized that the life of a pregnant graduate student wasn't really conducive to published pointlessness.

Then came The Troubles, and so came blogger brigita 2.0, aka Sugarmouth, publishing My Cancer Deployment. It was all personal updates all the time, thus more journal than weblog, but it served a multitude of purposes until I finished treatment, so I stopped blogging there.*

I got a few new blog followers with MCD and thought I should try to parlay that into a new post-C blog. So I ported my old blog over to its current URL and repurposed brigita.blogspot.com for my third and current blog, Sugarmouth. The idea was to keep up with the personal anecdotes while throwing in some actual weblog content.

And I guess we know how well that worked out.

The thing of it is, my life is pretty mundane these days (as I have mentioned more than once before). There really isn't all that much of note to relay (at least nothing I haven't already mentioned in Facebook status updates) in the way of the personal life, and I'm not surfing interesting sites any more, so I guess I'm in a bit of a rut. One I'm not super fired-up to break out of, anyhow.

I guess the point of this non-post is to kind of apologize to those readers that check in on me on a regular basis, only to find the same old post languishing at the top of the blog and to let you guys know what's the what. I haven't forgotten about the blog so much as I've forgotten how to blog.

Of course now that I've said that, watch me pull the total blogger cliché of saying "Yah, I don't really have that much to say, I'm going to take a break from blogging..." and proceed to blog more in the following week than I had in the four previous.

So...more as it happens?

*...sort of...

Pieces of Me

2009-06-17T15:28:00.002-05:00

Great news from the guts front: I got my drivers license renewal form in the mail the other day and along with it came a set of orange dot DONOR stickers. I (and everyone else in my GI support group) had been under the impression that we cancer veterans had to keep our spare parts to ourselves.

Rather than languish under flawed assumptions, I thought I should give a call to the authorities on the subject, and what did they tell me?

I can still donate my organs! Ok, well, maybe. It depends on circumstances that we didn't get into, but the good news is that I'm a definite maybe! Hooray!

A Short Story:

2009-05-27T22:25:00.001-05:00

I am boring, bordering on the worstest blogger evar.

Boring makes for a boring blog, but a pretty nice, predictable life.

But yeah, pretty wicked boring.

The end.

The UnUpdate

2009-05-06T15:38:00.003-05:00

Hey guys! So, how're you all dong? Good, good...

So yeah, um, you know how I haven't been posting all that much? No, there's no reason for it (emphasis on No Reason) or anything, just been kinda busy with a whole lot of nothing in particular.

ANYhoo, so I'm not really going to be posting all that much for the next week or so either because the mother-in-law is rolling into town tomorrow and then I'm hoping to do a big purge and get all my sh!t in one sock for the neighborhood yard sale the following weekend.

I know, I know, you are so jealous. If I weren't already me, I'd be jealous, too.

DREAMLOG: Mommy Edition

2009-05-05T07:44:00.002-05:00

I think I dreamed last night that I had forgotten to order a cake for Violet's 2nd birthday.

Is this the Mommy version of naked final exam stress dream? And since when do I order store-made cakes?

This is Not a Negotiation.

2009-04-27T12:47:00.006-05:00

Toddlers are kinda like small, sticky, pee-pants terrorists like that.

It's Like an Orange on a Toothpick

2009-04-25T07:49:00.004-05:00

Remember the hat that I wore pretty much all last summer to keep off of my photosensitive face? The one I got in the Allure Safe in the Sun Beauty Box? The one that's actually kinda cute? Probably not, because I wasn't exactly posting a lot of pictures of myself last summer.

Anyhow, that hat? It doesn't fit me any more. Because my hair is back, in all of it's unruly, prematurely white glory.

I Scream, You Scream

2009-04-21T11:47:00.003-05:00

OMG more food news: It's Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's today (12p-8p).

A Tale of Yummy Overpriced Snackfoods

2009-04-21T11:15:00.006-05:00

Like many people, I have a major love/hate with Whole Foods: I loooooooooooove all the great stuff they have, hate signing off on three figure receipts.

One of my most favorite things by Whole Paycheck--besides their Seedilicious bread and their ridiculously fantastic cheese selection--is their Protein Packed Salad. Or, was their Protein Packed Salad, until they unceremoniously discontinued it about a year ago.

There were a number of questions asked of the folks behind the deli counter and some mourning in between the whole cancer thing, and then time passed, and then POOF! I was perusing the refrigerated prepacked food section and there it was! My Protein Packed Salad!

What's so great about my PPS? Well, here's the ingredients list, for your edification and my insurance, just in case it goes all POOF again:

Edamame, wheatberries, quinoa, celery, red peppers, carrots, red onion, scallions, and dressing (cottage cheese, canola mayo, honey, parsley, cider vinegar, dill, sea salt, black pepper).

It's so super fudging good, I hope you're all able to find some at your local WF!

I'm Published!

2009-04-14T09:07:00.003-05:00

Ok, so it's just another place on the 'net, but I got paid for it*!

Dealing With Cancer: A Kick in the Ass.

It's a 3-part series, so you might have to poke around to find the other two parts. Me, verbose? Never.

Ok, so the $$ is only enough to pay for 1.5 parking tickets, but still...

It's Almost Market Season!

2009-04-08T15:15:00.002-05:00

This is so great for a thousand different reasons, and to celebrate the onset of spring I really need to get off the computer, off my ass, and over to the fabric store--yes, the fabric store--so I can make Martha's No-Sew Market Tote.

I think if I got the hang of making these, I could also tweak the pattern a little to be able to use them for produce bags for my usual shopping.

Step one: get off the computer...

Call Me Cindy Lou Roux

2009-04-07T15:06:00.006-05:00

It sounds like The Kid is up from her nap and throwing bricks out of her crib, so I'll have to keep this quick, but I just wanted to say that I made some pretty kickass mac 'n cheese from scratch--my first roux!--last night and holy POOP is it good.

I'm sure the recipe is somewhere online--but like I said, bricks--so I'll just post the scan that my CIA-educated brother-in-law sent me for now and try to find the recipe later...

WINO ALERT!

2009-03-30T19:43:00.003-05:00

So, you know how you get invited to a BBQ or dinner party or some similar food/alcohol/socializing event and you're all "Uh, we need to bring something...how about wine? Yeah, wine is good...but how many bottles? Do you know how many people are supposed to be there? How much should we spend per bottle?"

Maybe that's just me. I am more of a beer girl: I know what I like (read: lots and lots of hops and just when you think it's pretty good and hoppy, ad more hops).

That said, can you imagine how much of a hit of the party you would be if you brought wine in a paint can?! Of course there's the question of whether or not the wine's any good, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

I'm such a sucker for clever packaging...

[via]

Making Good On Culinary Promises

2009-03-30T13:03:00.003-05:00

I got it into my head a while ago that rather than depend on our local Thai establishment(s) as a source for the delicious Tom Kha Gai (or really Tom Kha Tofu) soup, I was going to take a field trip to the Asian grocer and make it myself.

Fast forward several months to yesterday, when I finally did make it out to the grocer and picked up all the ingredients (save the necessary peppers--they were all labeled "PEPPER" and that is definitely a thing you want to get right).

Oh MAN was it good, even though I started it way too early which may have muddied the flavors a bit and definitely wound up in it being less a soup and more of a curry-type thing, which we served over rice.

I'd post the recipe except that I kinda fused about four recipes I found, doing my usual "little of this, little of that" non-style of cooking despite it being my first time.

Basic ingredients include stock, coconut milk, lemongrass, kaffir lime leaves, galangal, chilies, fish sauce, lime juice, veggies and protein of choice. I also garnished with scallions, cilantro, and bean sprouts 'cause I'm nice like that.

Glad To Be 1,000 Miles From the Chesapeake Bay

2009-03-27T13:01:00.003-05:00

One less thing I can't eat without a pound of guilt: Crabs Feel Pain.

This Just In

2009-03-26T18:57:00.003-05:00

News anchor gravitas + self-aware self-assured self-mockery (see: SNL, Daily Show, and Sesame St.) = me tardy to the Brian Williams crush party.

I Am a Dog Walker Stalker

2009-03-19T16:32:00.003-05:00

I have done my best to refrain from flogging myself here on the blog over our making the incredibly difficult decision to surrender our dog Cleo. She was troubled, she was broken, and she sincerely made it difficult for us to live our lives--social and otherwise--without a heaping pile of stress, but she was ours. She was mine.

As I've said before, giving her up was so hard, but I knew for as hard as that was, if Cleo ever did any harm to Violet, it would be like a knife to my heart.

And this is how I made my peace with our turning her over to a shelter. A kill shelter. Ok no, I still haven't really forgiven myself.

But she was picked up by the local rescue. And while that helped me sleep a little easier, I still continued to feel guilty, thus stalked her guiltily online, sending first the Christmas stocking my mom had made her, and then a donation to the rescue who saved her. Because the guilt, it keeps on coming.

That is, until today. Today the guilt subsides a little bit more because Cleo is no longer available: she's been adopted!!! Oh sweet St. Francis of Assisi, our dear Cleo has found a permanent home! I really, really hope that it's with the guy she's lounging on in the picture because he bears a passing resemblance to Jody, with whom she shared many a snuggle and nap, and I would think that that would make the transition a little easier on her.

Be well, little monkey. I still love and miss you terribly.

Another One for the Water is Wet Files:

2009-03-17T09:10:00.001-05:00

I love The Eff Word and make no apologies for it.

Recipes of Relative Ease*

2009-03-13T18:42:00.005-05:00

I'm wary of launching another ongoing installment over here at Sugarmouth on account of the infrequency with which I try new recipes, but I wanted to share the following with you, gentle reader: The Best Broccoli of Your Life.

I tried the recipe out tonight and not only is it tasty and fairly healthy, but it is wicked easy and doesn't require any exotic ingredients or cooking implements.

I made a test (ie small) batch in the toaster oven this evening and think I will cook it for longer than the 22:22 I did to up the crunch factor and use more Parmesan the next time as well.

Apologies to the blogger from whom I stole this link...I can't for the life of me remember where I came across it.

*A bit of a stretch, I know.

New Sugarmouth Segment!

2009-03-11T20:27:00.007-05:00

Hey y'all--I think it's time to launch a new recurring segment here on the ol' blog:

Things/People to Which/Whom I Would Sincerely Like to Dole Out a Most Unladylike Beatdown.

OMG, you guys, have you been getting those spam emails, hearing the radio commercials, or catching parts of the over-lengthy TV infomercials on colon cleansing? Because, did you know that you aren't overweight, you might actually have up to 30lbs of poop jammed up in there like "spackle or paste?" And that all you need is a good "detox" or to take a bunch of pills or get a colonic and poof! You're going to be a size six again? </sarcasm>

Holy fucking shit (pun intended), this nonsense positively makes me want to spit nails. Doctors have either have to use the threat of cancer or brute force to get their patients into the GI clinic, but from the preponderance of these damn commercials, it would seem that folks are lining up for these "cleansing" scams!

Hey quick-fixers! Do you want to "detox" your body? Drink more water, eat less processed crap, and get your heart rate over 120 for more than 20 minutes more than twice a week!

Ok, now I'm about to blow. Your. MIND. Wanna hear something really crazy? This "program" will also help you LOSE WEIGHT! Whatta coincidence, right? </sarcasm>

The other thing that makes me fucking nuts is these quacks tout claim to be "nutritionists," which ANY unqualified jackass can call themselves. I mean, who wouldn't trust their intestinal health to an evangelist and a "nutraceutical formulator "?

Of course, nowhere on their websites does it say where these HUGE douchebags got their college degree(s), which leads me to believe that they, in fact, have not matriculated from an accredited institution of higher learning.

But I could just be biased. I could be way too invested in the topic. I mean sure, doesn't this guy look like an expert on what's good for you and your colon?

</sarcasm>

The Worst 15 Minutes of the Last Year*

2009-03-06T09:11:00.005-06:00

Yesterday I had my six-month follow-up CT scan. I hadn't been thinking much about it before the actual day, mostly because I knew that the only thing worrying would accomplish is steal precious sleep.

I was a little on edge yesterday since I had to fast prior to the scan and I am not one to skip meals. Ever. The first appointment was 9am labs, which went relatively ok, except for the fact that the IV needle that the tech left in wasn't exactly comfy, but then hell, it's pointy metal and it's not supposed to feel good, right?

After pounding three large cups of contrast for the scan (which I tolerated a little more than usual since I was so dehydrated and am not one to deviate from the NO FOOD OR DRINK FOUR HOURS PRIOR TO SCAN directions, even if it is water), they brought me into the CT room.

As soon as I laid on the table, I started to panic mildly. This was it. This test would determine the path of my life for the next six months. Clear, and I would get to keep chugging along until the next scan. Not clear, well...I could only assume that meant chemo and surgery.

They hooked the IV up to the needle sticking out of my arm. Once the contrast started to flow, my arm started to BURN with an incredibly SHARP PAIN. "OW, it HURTS!" I cried, kicking one leg wildly. I knew that getting contrast through my port was relatively painless, but I'd had contrast via IV before and it never hurt anything like this.

One of the nurses checked my arm (or something--I was to busy motionlessly writhing in pain to notice) and she said very apologetically that the vein wasn't infiltrated and that the contrast was going to where it was supposed to, so they kept going. The initial pain eventually subsided, but the damage was already done, or rather the dam had broken.

As fat tears rolled out the corners of my eyes, the nurses apologized repeatedly for something which wasn't remotely their fault. I tried to brush it off as no big deal, but they kept on: "I'm so sorry, it's not supposed to hurt like that, I'm so sorry..."

I tried to get myself together in a bathroom, but immediately lost it, heaving sobs at the import of what had just happened. The scan was no longer a question mark on the horizon--it was happening. It had happened.

I beelined down the the caf for some much needed grub, which made me feel a bit better, then turned right around for my 11:30 acupuncture appt. There, the tiniest needle stick set off the waterworks again. I soon realized yesterday that while I can tolerate stress and tolerate pain, I can't do both at once, with one intensifying the other in a vicious cycle of tears.

I met up with Jody in the onc waiting room and proceeded to do just that for a half hour since either I or the clinic got my appointment time wrong. We were eventually whisked into an exam room, I answered the usual litany of questions, and we waited for the onc.

My onc's right hand man (who is also fantastic, by the way) had me feeling good with his positive demeanor but then delivered the news: the scan results were inconclusively troubling. Apparently, there was a dark spot on the scan that had gotten bigger since the last one.

Just then, the darkness got a whole lot bigger.

The doc said that it was very unusual for it a recurrence to happen in that area and since it was adjacent to a surgical staple or clip, it could very well be nothing more than irritation from that staple/clip.

None of that helped. I was a total fucking wreck and was on my second kleenex before he even finished his sentence.

The doc then said that he was going to confer with my onc and then try to get either an answer or plan of attack when they both came back.

Jody, universe bless him, was ever his logical, I-will-base-my-response-on-the-information-I-have-been-given self while I, on the other hand, was Missus Disaster Brain.

I was sick. Again. I had ten miles of bad chemo road ahead of me, and possibly surgeries, just to keep things interesting. They wouldn't be able to put me back on FOLFOX on account of my neuropathy, so they would try something new. Something worse. Something that would knock me down, wipe me out. I would lose my hair. Jody would lose sleep. Violet might lose her mother. Oh God fucking NO.

After a fifteen minute eternity, my oncologist walked in, with his right hand man right behind. It was ok. They had an explaination. The dark spot they had been watching, the one adjacent to the clip? Was my ovary. And this was not a bad thing, because ovaries in all pre-menopausal women change with a woman's cycle.

Holy shit, they had been looking at my beloved, transposed to a new location, thusfar functioning ovary.

And this is why my emotional fuse had been thisshort. Well, partly, anyhow. Because despite all lab results to the contrary, I was still cycling.

My hair is still a wreck. Jody's sleep is spotty at best. But Violet? Not losing her mom any time soon.

*Not counting my bowel issues, natch.

I'm Back!

2009-03-03T14:48:00.003-06:00

Ok, so I've been back, just a little, um...busy? Sort of?

So, I know I owe you all a report on our trip to Puerto Rico (short version: the Ritz has crap coffee and is across the street from the cockfights. I wish I were kidding) and I've got something else of import coming up in a few days but I wanted to post a quick note pertaining to a subject very close to my heart.

Well, not so much my heart as it is my butt. Yes, we're going there.

We are now in the month of ides, Guinness, lions and lambs but also awareness. March is coloRECTAL (sing it!) cancer awareness month. You all know my story by now, so I will spare a rerun, but it is my duty (or is that doody?) to deliver the following PSA as a CRC veteran.

Colorectal cancer--and all cancers, really--does not discriminate, nor is it logical. I am proof of the fact that you can be so low risk as to be practically risk-free and still get The Cancer. It is critical that you remain ever vigilant and tuned into the ebbs and flows of your body.

It is up to you to inform your doctor of any irregularities, whether it be unexplained weight loss, weakness, bleeding, changes in bowel habits (translation: they look different, happen more/less frequently, etc).

If things have been amok for a while and are not improving, be the squeaky wheel. You must be your own advocate. And if your doc tries to pass them off as hemmorrhoids, have him/her give me a call. You know I love a good excuse to read someone the riot act.

Spread the word, and if symptoms warrant, spread your cheeks. I've said it before, but I'll say it again:

If your doody is red, get your pooper inspected!
Oh and PS, contrary to what you've heard, the prep is the second worst part of a colonoscopy. The worst worst part is being told you have cancer.

From the Department of the Interior

2009-02-13T08:27:00.002-06:00

I finally had my meeting with Dr. Ovaries yesterday, with the goal of his shining some light on just what the hell is going on with my lady business (Am I in menopause? Can we still have kids? Etc. Ad nauseum).

As to the first question, he said that despite the crap lab results to the contrary, all other signs--five straight months of semi-regular cycling, heightened emotions and sore boobs prior to my monthlies--point to my not being in menopause.

Not yet, anyway. Between the beating my body has taken over the last year or so and my less than favorable labs, the doc is concerned that my pre-menopause window may be rapidly closing. To that end, he strongly recommended that if I/we had even the slightest interest in having more biological children, we get moving.

Because while some women have achieved spontaneous pregnancy after ovarian transposition, my transposition surgery was different from theirs, specifically my fallopian tubes were cut to achieve the necessary distance from the radiation field, which resulted in cutting off their blood supply, so no more fallopian tubes for me (which now kinda makes the impersonation of a fallopian tube that I would do in college kinda sad or something).

Remember when I said I didn't want to take extreme measures to have more kids? Yeah, me too. Funny how your perspective changes you aren't looking into a basket at the bottom of a guillotine.

Even as recently as my appointment yesterday, I was pooh-poohing IVF, since I didn't want to spend six figures simply to have another child. What conceit, right? Haven't we moved past the whole Selfish Gene thing?

Well, a whole 20 minutes of research turned up that not only is IVF not that expensive, but our insurance covers it up to $20K.

So here's the new plan: Jody and I are going to get the wheels in motion to put some embryo pops on ice as an insurance policy. If we want to have another kid, we [hopefully] have the option of doing so, even if I were to go into menopause the day after the cells go on ice since they can pump me full of enough hormones to fool it into thinking it's a fresh and fertile youngin'.

I have an appointment at the end of next month to talk with one of the endocrine docs at UW that specializes in helping women that have been through cancer treatments have kids.

And before that, I've got some sun to soak. T-minus five days. Hooray!

Doing Our Part to Stimulate the Economy

2009-02-11T11:52:00.007-06:00

I am thrilled to report that, despite the inauspicious beginning, Jody and I are half way through with our insulation projects. We had the water heater replaced with an HE unit and moved to a more logical position in the basement, the crawlspace underneath the 1st floor bathroom insulated, and old insulation pulled out from the sill boxes in the basement and replaced with sprayed-in foam.

Yeah, I didn't know what a sill box was, either, but I can talk a good game.

Next on the list is to have the attic air sealed, the old insulation ripped out and replaced with 14" of blown in cellulose.

To give you a picture of how badly we needed this work done, the old water heater was at least 20 years old, the 1st floor bathroom used to be a good 10+ degrees colder than the rest of the house when the door was closed, and while current building code requires that attic insulation is rated no less than R38, we've got about R6 up there. Oy.

My primary goal with all of this work is to first keep the house in good shape (read: prevent it from crumbling around our ears), with the second goal being an increase in efficiency. Apparently the attic improvements wil also keep the 2nd floor cooler in the summer, which is great, because it can really cook up there, despite the AC being cranked up.

I'm also hoping that the new attic insulation prevents new ice dams from forming (the old ones have just about completely melted away in the recent heat wave) because I swear to GOD that there is a new crack in the molding or along the wall seams every time I turn around and it is driving me absolutely BITCHCAKES.

In other house news, we had been thinking about having our garage redone. Currently, you can get a car in there, but being able to open the doors is another matter altogether. In this neighborhood, it seems like you have two choices: use your garage for storage or strip it bare to the walls so you can park you car in there.

We had given some thought to putting on a new garage, and then doing a garage with a bedroom on top, but I had a revelation about a week ago and thought what I would say if a neighbor were to undertake such a project. Since the answer to that scenario was "nothing nice," Jody and I have agreed to put that one on the back burner for the time being.

That's enough outta me for now--I'm going to go and do my impression of a Hungry Hungry Hippo.

Why I Love 30 Rock, Exhibit Q17, Part 6b:

2009-02-06T14:24:00.005-06:00

"I'm trying to produce a Christmas special that makes It's a Wonderful Life look like Pulp Fiction."

--Jack Donaghy
Catch episodes for free at the great and powerful Hulu.

CRAIGSLIST SCAM

2009-01-28T20:09:00.005-06:00

I've been meaning to post this for the past few days and am now just getting around to it.

While most of us 'net savvy folks are smart enough to spot a phishing attempt from a mile off, there are some scams that are a little less obvious. Apparently the "excess funds scam" is a classic hustle being perpetrated on craigslist users.

I'm trying to unload some Pottery Barn furniture online and within a few hours of posting the ad to craigslist, I got the following email:

From: Richard Beks (richbek03@googlemail.com)

Hello, Would like to know if the item is still available for sale, its condition and price you would offer me?? Await Your Response.

Seeing as that most of the information that the guy requested was available in the posting (not to mention the sketchy grammar), I thought this seemed a little fishy, or more to the point, a little phishy. Thus, I responded with the following:

From: brigita

Hi Richard--The item is still available. All of the other info is in the listing. Thanks!

Again, within a few minutes I got this:

From: Richbek01@aol.com

Well, i'm okay with the condition and price also ready for purchase. I could make payment via my business or personal check which could be cashed instantly or deposited for clearance so you can be rest assured all is okay before the pick up. I'll be responsible for the pick-up and the movers fee will be included in your payment to avoid delay, cost of postage and to enable them schedule an appropriate time for the pick-up at your location as i have other properties to be moved. Would love to view it but i'm afraid that might not be possible due to my work frame. Do send me more pictures of it. If you're okay with the plans do write back to me with your full name and address including your cell and land number so i can make out payment.

Hoping to read from you! Thanks.

Payment by check? "Rest assured," you say? Sold! Except not.

There are no pictures in my ad (too lazy to take them without any expressed interest) and I said that they were somewhat damaged, so the fact that this guy was ok with buying a couple of relatively inexpensive items sight unseen and then have them shipped by movers when my ad expressly requests local pick-up only were some of the bigger red flags for me.

After this email exchange, I did a little googling to discover that "Richard Beks" has used that very name to try to scam other people in the past.

Apparently what these people do is send you a check that is far in excess of the amount of the item, with the requirement that you pay the movers, who you pay out of pocket, but then your bank contacts you to say that the buyer's check bounced or that the checks were stolen or some other nonsense.

I stopped emailing the guy but would love to get him in trouble without sticking my neck out too far. I'm wondering if I can report him to AOL (since one of the two addresses he used was theirs--who uses AOL any more anyways?) or if my local police can set up a sting (which would be so SWEET).

Anyone else have experience in this department?

Another Lame-o Bullet Point Post

2009-01-26T13:45:00.004-06:00

The only thing better than thrift shopping on 99¢ day? Finding a $10 bill in your cart on 99¢ day!
Vi has been occasionally singing the alphabet song (and correctly, at least to the well-trained ear), but the thing is you can't prompt her to do it, you have to catch her doing it. She was also batting about .800 on correctly identifying her letters in her ABC book last night (as in, when I ask her what letter "this" is, she would reply "G" or "R.").
As brainiac coincidences go, we were preschool shopping this past weekend. We've decided to apply to the two (of the three I saw) that had the best teachers. The fact that they're also the least expensive of the three is a bonus.
Keeping with the brainiac theme, I just burnt my tongue on some wickedly hot lentil soup.

Clearly, Violet gets her genius from me.

I Probably Would Have Left it on Too Long, Anyway

2009-01-23T09:33:00.002-06:00

After making an early evening grocery run last night, I noticed that my Obama car magnet was no longer affixed to the rear of my car.

I'm not exactly sure when the magnet went missing--it could very well be lying in my slush-edged driveway right now--but I figure there are two possible explanations for its disappearance: (1) it was either permanently borrowed by someone jumping on the Obama bandwagon about a year too late or (b) it was nicked by a sore loser.

Either way, color me amused.

Check Out Those Sideburns!

2009-01-22T14:31:00.004-06:00

From the depths of my neglected Flickr account:

Violent Femmes Concert, Seattle Summer 2005.

Back when our hair was as carefree as the rest of our lives... Ah, good times.

Hope I Can Believe In

2009-01-19T18:44:00.004-06:00

...Hope that she's actually going to go to sleep in a few minutes, unlike my two aborted attempts at naps earlier today...

[via DCoE]

Four Days and a Wakeup*

2009-01-15T12:41:00.003-06:00

Maybe it's the Kool-Aid** talking, but this headline (and first few lines of the story) made me cry:

Obama tells daughters he ran for president for them, all children.

People, the long, long winter of our collective discontent is finally drawing to a close.

*As we used to say in the Nav.
** Or the hormones? Please?

This is Simply Unacceptable

2009-01-15T07:27:00.002-06:00

One for the FUCKING SHIT Files

2009-01-13T20:39:00.003-06:00

A woman that writes one of the cancer blogs I follow has started in-home hospice.

She, and her family, is/are preparing for death.

Sweet merciful crap, stop monkeying around with inventing better and faster boner drugs and find a cure already.

I Am Trying to Break Your Heart Stimulate the Economy

2009-01-13T20:07:00.005-06:00

...but retailers just. Won't. LET ME.

We've had these quote unquote bedside tables since getting our bed which we purchased shortly after getting married. The tables aren't tables at all, they're trunks, but they were shown at the side of the bed in question in the Pottery Barn catalog, so like a good little Stepford-bot, I bought them.

While purty, they have been driving us nuts--one of us more than the other--since getting them, as they are short, and while good for storing bed linens, aren't worth much with respect to hiding my nighttime sundries (moisturizer, lip stuff, etc.).

After much store and soul searching, I finally find a worthy replacement:
Ah, what did I ever do before Target?

The answer to that, of course, is unnecessarily spend an assload of money at Pottery Barn.

They matched the bed's wood and general scheme, were the right price, and I had a gift certificate burning a hole in my pocket. I bought a pair.

A few days after buying them, I received an email saying that while one table was en route, the second was seriously delayed. Since we had waited this long for new night stands, what was a few more months?

The first table arrived and while it was pretty, its cheap construction left much to be desired. Still, the drawers would provide lots of good--if not linen--storage and, most importantly, Jody liked it.

Today, the other shoe dropped. Target emailed me to say that the table as not available from "any of their sources" [in China] and that the remainder of my order is cancelled. Of course, I'm entirely put out, having to return the one table we do have and come up with another pair we can live with.

Hopefully that won't take another seven years.

Today's To Done List

2009-01-13T15:11:00.003-06:00

Brought coffee, fixins, and eco-friendly containers to co-op day care. The other moms lurve me!
Dug out our driveway after returning from co-op to see all the snow the plows had thrown in there. Bitchcakes!
During Violet's going on 3.5h nap (yes, I know how spoiled I am), wrote the first draft of a pitch letter.

Mama isn't gainfully employable and desperately needs to start executing Operation: Pleatherbound.

Oh and PS, it's currently 2F. I bet you're a little less envious of me now, eh?

The Thrifting Gods Giveth...

2009-01-08T17:47:00.004-06:00

...and taketh away.

I've been on the hunt for a wool hat and mittens set and was pretty excited to find one at Goodwill yesterday, right on top of the hat pile. It was a block of black with small snowflakes on top of a charcoal grey block, meaning it would match all of my coats (don't deviate much from the black-grey-white pallete).

Too bad I went on post-thrift laundry autopilot and just threw it all in the wash together.

I don't think it would even fit Violet now it's so shrunken, even after soaking it in solutions each of hair conditioner (wool is hair after all), borax, and mild soap. BOO.

Ponce de Leon, Constantly On

2009-01-07T22:33:00.003-06:00

Stop the presses--I've discovered a foolproof way to feeling younger, if not looking younger.

Turn off The Real World.

DAMN those ~~seven~~ eight (WTF?) strangers are fetuses.

Facebook Killed the Blogging Star

2009-01-07T11:07:00.009-06:00

I realized the other day that lately I've been making mental notes for clever Facebook status updates rather than blog posts, which has resulted in my only giving super condensed updates over @ FB and neglecting this here blog. So, here's the latest from Southern Canada:

Yesterday, Violet and I came home to a cold house. Now, I do tend to lower the thermostat when I know we're going to be gone for more than an hour, but this was even colder than that. After putting Vi down for a nap, I fiddled with the thermostat and furnace long enough to realize that I wasn't going to be able to fix the problem on my own.

Fortunately, the first heating company I called was able to dispatch a repair person (okay, repairMAN) within the hour. Turns out that the fuse had blown on the furnace because the filter was plugged full of dust and lint. Guess I forgot to replace the filter after our epic duct cleaning. Oops.

While that was a moderately expensive lesson in remembering such mundane tasks, it was somewhat offset by the fact that air filters were on sale at the local hardware store...ok, maybe not so much offset, but I'm all set for filters for the remainder of winter, provided it ends somewhere before or around April, but this is Wisconsin, so it could be Memorial Day before the final snow drift has slushed away.

I had said something on FB a few days ago about being on the cusp of getting fat. Now, I may have exaggerated a bit there, but it is nice to not see my ribcage or feel like my pelvis is jutting out like a rack of moose antlers.

I do need to watch it with the cookies and truffles (damn you Whole Paycheck!) since the Puerto Rico countdown will be starting soon...I know it's not metabolically possible to change fat to muscle, but I am hoping to firm things up before heading to America Adjacent next month.

Sadly, my ass has failed to respond favorably to my junk food diet.

Finally, I am officially outing myself: I am planning to write a book*.

I know, I know--I might as well join the ranks of the other 75% of people who think they have the next Great American Novel hidden away inside of them somewhere, but I've got a unique angle (young pescatarian mom gets coloRECTAL cancer!), a fairly good outline, and a title (to be revealed later).

Now I just need to put together a proposal (my self-imposed deadline is to have a rough draft by the time we leave for PR) and get my foot into a publisher's door.

This is where you, my fair, loyal (and pretty. Did I mention pretty?) readers, come in. If anyone out there in the InternEther should have a connection to folks in publishing, I would be forever in your debt if you could either point me their way or direct them to the old blog.

On that note, I'm going to go pick up a copy of Book Writing for Dummies.

*Or two, actually.

It's Amazing How Much More Relaxed the 2nd Year Is

2009-01-02T09:47:00.005-06:00

Is just fed Violet [apparently] expired cereal but it's organic, so don't the two pretty much cancel each other out?

ETA: I might be so relaxed since Violet slept in until EIGHT THIRTY this morning. And here I thought I couldn't sleep past seven any more! Sometimes I am very, very happy to be proven wrong.

The Blitz

2008-12-31T20:20:00.014-06:00

This post has been a long, long time coming.

I bought this poster either shortly before or after Violet was born, putting it up in her nursery above the changing table.

I thought it would be kinda funny, you know, "You've got this living, breathing, breakable being that came out of your body and is totally dependent on you for survival but don't freak out! People have been birthing babies for, like, a bazillion years and it's all worked out pretty ok so far!"

For a while it was a force for steadiness and rational thinking for me, as I blurred through the first weeks of sleepless nights and endless shitty diapers and second guessing myself every waking moment (and some sleeping ones as well) and having a wave of relief wash over me every time my baby woke up from her slumber.

I was right, it was funny, but it turned out to be funny not so much in a "funny ha ha" way but "funny ZOMG WTF" way.

"You should get that blood in your stool checked out, it could be something serious."

Deep breath.

"Your blood pressure is elevated, you could be pre-eclamptic."

Deep breath.

"The cord was wrapped around her neck. Twice."

Deep breath.

"It's probably nothing, but you should get checked out anyway."

Deep breath.

"It's ~~nothing~~ cancer."

Breathe.

Brigita, breathe.

BREATHE, dammit!

Deep. Breath.

Now let it back out.

2008, was--bar none--the worst fucking year of my life. Terrifying. Desperate. Trying. Exhausting. Disgusting. Horrible. Horrifying.

For one hundred and sixty-two days, I shit out of my stomach.
During chemo, I had to go into the clinic for fluids on more than one occasion because I could either not get or keep them in me. On one day in particular, I think I had to empty my bag twice in ten minutes. It was like a damn fire hose.
Another day during chemo, while taking a shower, I was so weak that my arms literally felt like they were made of lead.
All of this and worse.

Cancer is awful. It is sneaky and cruel and unmerciful and--let's be honest--deadly.

But invincible? Sometimes, yes. But I got lucky. I kept calm [mostly] and carried on. I had relatively good health and even better doctors and a metric shitton of support behind me and all together we beat. That. ASS. Like a motherfucking drum.

Get thee behind me, 2008. Your reign is over.

The king is dead. Long live the Queen.

Four for Four!

2008-12-31T12:28:00.004-06:00

The following post is encoded to protect the delicate sensibilities of my male readers:

Auntie is in the hizzle! Huzzah!

Back to your regularly scheduled ranting.

O'Hare Drama

2008-12-31T12:08:00.003-06:00

Oops, guess this post is a little more than overdue, eh?

The short version (which I've gotten better at telling over the past week) is that some time between curb checking our luggage and the security check point that couldn't have been more than 50 yards away I either got pick-pocketed or thought I had put my wallet in my coat pocket but didn't (the fingers aren't as reliable as they should be these days).

Once I realized I didn't have the ID necessary to get through security, I completely flipped out. Visions of not being home for Christmas slam-danced through my head. I ran around the area where I lost the wallet, checking in with ticketing agents, janitors/cleaning people (apparently referred to as "scrubs"), and other sundry official-looking folks, periodically checking in with Jody, who was looking through our carry-ons even though I knew my wallet wasn't there.

After virtually forcing Jody, Vi, and all of our crap through security, I took a breath and resigned myself to a few hours of looking for the wallet before returning to Wisconsin for another form of ID, driving back to O'Hare, and attempting to get on a stand-by flight. What a way to kick-off a vacation, huh?

I kept checking in with my folks, who were getting to know me by this point, just saying "no wallet yet, sorry" when I would approach them. Many suggested I check lost and found, and while I already had, I went back down to file a report.

As I was doing so, the woman behind the counter asked "Did you lose something, too?" (there was another person there filing a report).

"Yeah, a wallet."

"What did it look like?"

"Black with a devil on it...?"

"Is your name Bridget McCullough?"

"ZOMG!!!1"

The upshot was that the wallet was found by a scrub, sans cash but avec cards, in a restroom trash. I have no idea how much cash I had on me, but it couldn't have been more than $50 since I'm a plastic kinda gal. I really did not care in the least bit about the $$, I was just so glad to have my ID!

Essentially snatching my wallet out of the woman's hands, I sprinted back upstairs and to security. The TSA agent who knew me and my plight took me to the front of the line, where I called Jody to let him knwow that I had my wallet back and would meet him and Vi at our gate.

So that is that! I guess I/we were lucky to get out when we did because O'Hare was a total cluster right up to Christmas Day. Flying into Hartford was a mess as well and we narrowly missed having to fly to Bangor, ME on account of the weather. Yeah, good times.

The good news is that the week got much, much better from there. A merry Christmas, indeed. :)

And to All a Good Night

2008-12-21T19:08:00.004-06:00

PS: Tomorrow I'll tell you the tale of getting pickpocketed at O'Hare before going through security. Oh wait, I guess that's the whole story. Upshot: I still managed to make it on my flight and to my folks'. Ooh, cliffhanger!!

Things For Which the Window on Thankfulness May Be Rapidly Closing

2008-12-19T19:47:00.005-06:00

Pimples*
Farting
Not being able to fit into clothes

*Dear Dr. So-and-So: Go take that supposedly "menopausal" lab work and cram it up your perfectly-working-as-nature-intended-it pooper.

Hot Daddy Alert

2008-12-18T11:54:00.001-06:00

Sweet Jesus, I just dropped my coffee.

RIP Mixwit

2008-12-18T08:52:00.002-06:00

I got an email today saying that Mixwit, a really fun and easy use virtual mix tape website, is shutting down as of 12/27. From the sounds of it, they're getting squeezed out by the music business. I can't say I'm terribly surprised, but it sucks all the same.

That said, here's the mix I made when I was in the thick of treatment. Give it a listen if you need a little angst to counterbalance all this holiday niceness.

Point Your Thoughts Hopkinsward

2008-12-18T08:32:00.005-06:00

Hey All--I've got a good vibes/prayer request for those of you with a soft spot for those of use with ailing posteriors: A fellow Domer in a similar cancer predicament found my blog when Googling the hell out of his condition and we have been in contact for the last month or so.

Well, today is the big day, and as of about 10 minutes ago, John hit the table and will be having his big surgery. This is the first day in a string of very hard, very long ones that will ultimately get him to NEDsylvania, so while the journey is well worth it, it's still pretty hellacious nonetheless.

I ask that if you have five seconds to spare (one...two...three...), you shoot some happy, healing vibes or fire off a quick prayer to the Patron Saint of Poorly Poopers on John's behalf. If you have another spare five, please do the same for John's dear wife and his sweet toddler.

The similarities are really uncanny, no? Makes you wonder what's in the water out there in The Bend...

A Brief List of Things I've Forgotten Today:

2008-12-17T13:57:00.004-06:00

To put out Violet's dirty diapers for the service to pick up. Good thing it's winter and their living in the garage for a few weeks won't totally stink up the joint.
My GI cancer support group meeting--it was going to be a casual and child-friendly white elephant gift exchange sort of affair but I had put it out of my mind since I thought it would conflict with Violet's nap schedule. Turns out we totally could have made it if I had planned for it and probably could still make an appearance if we left right this second but that is in all likelihood not going to happen.

In other news, I am still riding a major high from booking our flight and hotel for our spring break trip to Puerto Rico. Please leave any and all advice, suggestions, and recommendations in the comments.

It Is Now One

2008-12-15T07:49:00.003-06:00

As in 1 degree, as measured by our thermometer (actually, it's 0.7°, but I rounded up).

TWC is actually showing it as -1°, -22° with wind chill.

I guess it's another day of all Elmo, all the time in the brigita household.

As Good As "Inconclusive" Gets

2008-12-12T10:11:00.003-06:00

After firing that email about my CEA labs off to my chemo docs, I got a call back within 45 minutes.

Now, cancer sucks all kinds of rocks, but I have to say that when it comes to The University of Wisconsin Paul P. Carbone Comprehensive Cancer Center, the customer service I have gotten there is the absolute cat's pajamas.

Now, stray one foot outside the cancer center, and YMMV, but those guys are the best. BEST!

Oh right--the results.

So, remember how when I had that first colonoscopy and we were all "OMG THE SKY IS FALLING" and then I weaseled my CEA results out of some poor receptionist and I was all "1.0?! I so don't have The Cancer, I don't care what that doctor saw" and then that nurse was all "Remember what the doctor told you?" and I was all "But my CEA is wicked low, yo!" and she was all "Yeah, but."

:::A year passes:::

I got the call back from my doc's #1 guy and he was happy to report that my CEA was less than 0.5. I don't know if that's as low as it can go, but it's pretty damn low, so that's a good thing, even though we really can't gauge my situation by this tumor marker for colorectal cancer because according to te results of my first CEA lab work, I had no cancer (1.0), despite the gigantic tumor that was growing in my [completely taken for granted, fondly remembered, occasionally mourned] rectum.

Upshot: My CEA level is about as good as it can be, but I'm still going to get scaned every 6 months (instead of the usual protocol of every year) because my CEA is not a reliable metric in my case.

In other news, my Christmas cards are going out before the actual holiday. A Christmas miracle, indeed.

What's the What

2008-12-11T13:43:00.003-06:00

I'm sure I'm not the only one that's crazy busy these days...the good news is that it's busy of the totally normal, average, boring (yet Christmas crazed) variety vs. the what the fuck do you mean I have cancer?! variety, so I've got that going for me.

Which is nice.

I've even managed to push my "condition" so far to the back of my mind that I haven't given a whole lot of thought to the lab work results that have yet to come back (or be revealed to me), although of course blogging about it made me think of it, so of course I just fired off a quick email to Dr. Chemo.

Otherwise, I'm just trying to stay on top of the pile: ready the labels and stamps and what not to get the cards out within 24h, keep the laundry cranking along, work on dismantling the many, many piles that accumulate throughout the house, and generally try to give a little more sense, logic, and order to the way things are organized and put away.

Or we could just burn the house down--ice dams and all--and start from scratch.

Seriously, How Did I Forget This?

2008-12-05T15:30:00.001-06:00

Finally, Some Good Lab Results

2008-12-05T13:00:00.009-06:00

I had my 3 month follow-up with Dr. Chemo yesterday and it went pretty much as well as possible (so far, anyhow...): my blood counts and liver functions are good, so I've got that going for me.

Apparently the CEA results take a while to come back--of course that's the one test that actually has something to do with the cancer--but then again, my CEA was "normal" when I was first diagnosed, so the results can only be bad or inconclusive.

In other news, my cholesterol results came back and were CRAZY low despite my having nothing but carbs, full-fat dairy, and other crap over the past year:

Total Cholesterol 185
Triglyceride 59
HDL 68
LDL 105

So, apparently the cure for high cholesterol is not diet but cancer. Who knew?

Ok, maybe it was the weight loss...

One More Great Plate

2008-12-03T10:05:00.003-06:00

While out running errands in the first snow we got earlier in the week (a 2" foundation to support the 3-6" we're supposed to get today), I saw the following license plate:

I H8 SNOW
I had the strongest urge to give the woman driving the car a big hug.

24/7/365 366* (and counting)

2008-11-30T13:30:00.011-06:00

It's my cancerversary today--one of many commemorating various battles of my cancer war, but this is the big one--the one year anniversary of the first time they told me "you have cancer."

It was a week after Thanksgiving and I had a late appointment on Friday. We went into it with big plans to go to a fish fry for dinner so I could eat my face off after having done the whole fasting and bowel prep thing in advance of the colonoscopy.

It was cold, and it was snowing. It was the first time I'd ever been in UW hospital. We parked on the top of the parking ramp.

They gave me a key on an elastic ring for the locker where I would store my clothes. I wore my long wool socks, thinking I was clever. I remember getting wheeled into the room, but very little after.

Coming out of sedation, I would ask Jody what time it was before falling back to sleep. We had to wait for something, so why not sleep? This happened again and again, although I didn't realize it at the time.

Eventually the nurse came and brought us into a room. Getting brought into a room is never a good thing, but my Versed-addled brain didn't make this connection. Jody had seen it coming ever since they said we had to wait. His train wreck was in slow motion, whereas mine happened at full speed, if through a fog.

Cancer.

It couldn't be cancer. They must have gotten it wrong. How much can they tell from looking at something, anyway?

Cancer?

But I'm young! Fit! Vegetarian! Clean family history! I have a four month old, for Chrissake! It can't be cancer! It can't be.

Can't.

But as we know all too well, it was. Despite all the odds so clearly being in my favor, I had rectal cancer. Ass cancer, if you prefer (I know I do). What the fuck were we going to do?

Burn it.
Cut it.
Poison it.
Bomb it to the stone age and then salt the earth so it never comes back.
We hope.

A year ago today they told me I have cancer. And I'm still here.

I had a bad day yesterday. Not cancer-bad, but related to it, so in the vicinity. I was all ready to post something really depressing and maudlin but Jody and I had a chat and got my emotional train back on the rails.

I made a plan. Something to distract, cheer me up:

I got my Suzie Homemaker nails done.

My nails are the longest they have been since finishing chemo--which is to say not long at all--and I wanted to do something indulgent and solo over Violet's nap.

The color is Russian Navy and is appropriate on so many levels:

When I met Jody, he was in the [U.S.] Navy.
Like my daughter's name, this color is a shade of purple
This color is also blue, like the "awareness" ribbon of my fellow colorectal peeps.

It's also totally badass.

Speaking of those last two items--ie my ass and it being a bad one--I applied to be a model for the 2010 Colondar. I'll let you know if I'll be flashing my scars for the masses when I do. :)

*I stand corrected--it was a leap year. Of course it was...

I Don't Care if They Can't Get a Good Stick From All the Scar Tissue...

2008-11-29T16:09:00.003-06:00

...I am going to have them keep drawing blood until I get the results I want.

A Boring Life Makes For a Boring Blog...

2008-11-26T07:47:00.000-06:00

...but it certainly is a welcome change from the past year.

Nothing much to report other than the McCullough Three are all doing well despite ND's total sucking and the first sticking snow of the season.

Jody is unfortunately nursing his injury again, I am no longer cleaning clump after clump of hair out of the shower drain, we are thankfullly staying put (and not cooking!) for ToFurkey Day, and Violet...[WARNING: Parental blathering ahead!]

...she continues to be an amazing joy, with her latest "trick" being that she is incredibly happy when I put her down for naps and "nigh'-nigh's," waving and saying "bye!" with a smile behind her pacifier as I walk out of the room.

Sure, being a stay-at-home mom can be boring, maddening, repetitive, and exhausting at times, but I'm hard-pressed to think of anything else I would rather do.

Dog Day Afternoon

2008-11-22T10:59:00.001-06:00

I am happy, nay thrilled to report that I called our local shelter yesterday to find that our dear, sweet, very missed Miss Cleo has been scooped up by the local BT rescue group and is all likelihood in a foster home at this very moment.

And there was much relieved rejoicing.

Old* TV Crushes Die Hard

2008-11-17T11:31:00.000-06:00

Dear Jason Bateman,

Stop making me ♥ you.

~~Love,~~
brigita

* We're talking Arrested Development crush, not Silver Spoons.

Multi-Generational Rhythm Section

2008-11-14T13:29:00.001-06:00

As If You Ever Had Any Doubts...

2008-11-14T13:20:00.001-06:00

...I am awesome.

All kinds of awesome.

Fucking awesome.

Mucking about with electrical wiring awesome.

We now have a functioning outdoor light. No more fumbling with keys in the dead of 6pm night.

I rule.

I am awesome.

[Strike A] Juxtapose

2008-11-14T11:12:00.001-06:00

I find it endlessly funny that my US Magazine gets delivered on the same day as Jody's Economist.

I Probably Could Just About Vomit Right Now

2008-11-11T12:58:00.000-06:00

My laptop has finally come back from the repair shop.

They apparently had to wipe the hard drive.

I am absolutely SICK to my STOMACH.

Fuck.

On a Lighter Note...

2008-11-09T20:42:00.000-06:00

...I bought this coat (in black) today and now I am The Hotness.

This Makes Absolutely No Sense but I DON'T CARE

2008-11-09T14:29:00.000-06:00

Hey all--Apologies for the unplanned blogging hiatus...my laptop is still in the proverbial shop but by some freaky miracle, the keyboard on my now-resurrected desktop is somehow working? It seriously makes ZERO sense--It's not plugged into the keyboard port yet it's still allowing me to type?

Full disclosure--it is a USB-enabled keyboard and is the USB business is plugged into an appropriate port, but as far as I can tell, it had to be plugged into both in the past to work...?

But hell, I'm not going to look a gift working computer in the ~~mouth~~ hard drive.

It's actually a mixed blessing that my computer access has been mixed at best this last week or so since it has forced me to take some time to process some shit before posting about it.

The short version is that we gave up our dog Cleo last weekend, with Jody doing the heavy lifting while I was at ND with Violet. The long version is nearly seven years with a totally unsocialized dog that prevented us from socializing ourselves and gave us very little in the way of evidence that she would not be a danger to Violet.

I really don't want to talk much more about it than that as I'm still pretty busted up over it--even though she was a total bitch, she was my bitch--but for as upset as the surrender makes me, if anything were to have happened to Violet, it would have been like a knife to my heart, and I've already been through enough for one year in the way of heart-knifing, yes?

So anyhow, looks like the blog is back up and running...for now, anyhow.

Missed you guys.

SO Cranky

2008-11-03T07:08:00.000-06:00

The box to ship my dead laptop to the HP fixit shop STILL hasn't arrived so I'm going to be without a lot longer than I had originally thought. I am one pissed off (and totally inconvenienced) brigita.

Craaaaaaaaap.

2008-10-27T21:37:00.000-05:00

I had to pay $49.95 to get a warantee good for phone support for two weeks on the laptop that I knew had to be looked at by an actual person since the hard drive wasn't firing up (I wish the phone support guy could go off script for TWO SECONDS and listen to me vs. saying "your display is bad, please back up your hard drive..." Um, guy, I would if it weren't for the fact that more is wrong than just the display).

Long story longer, posting will be sparse over the next week or two. The up side is that my house might actually get organized between now and then. Either that or I will watch my weight in TiVo.

Also, It was snowing when we landed in Madison today (returning from trip to see family in SC--more on that later). See above.

An Open Letter to a Lazy Ass Contractor

2008-10-21T16:31:00.000-05:00

Dear house renovation guy,

When you came to take a look at our place to give us a bid on how much the various insulation projects around the house would cost, you were a consummate professional: knew your stuff, didn't talk down to me just because I have a vagina, and we even connected on a have-lived-everywhere level. I dropped the hint that we had bigger renos in our future with the idea that if this project went well, there could be more $$ down the road.

But that was three weeks ago. THREE WEEKS and it's only getting colder here in Southern Canada and I would really like to have these projects at least STARTED before the snow falls.

When I called you last week (Wednesday? Thursday maybe?), you said that you were in the office and hoped to get the quote to me that day. I said that I'd look forward to reading it by the end of the week (wanted to give you a little cushion) and that was the last I heard from you.

Now, I know that I'm not your #1 priority, but it would at least be nice to get the sense that I'm at least in the queue for services. I mean, I thought that with the housing market (and really, the whole flipping economy) in the tank, all you guys were scrambling for work? No?

I'm starting to have the feeling I would get back in my dating days (aka The Dark Ages) when I would call a guy and he'd be all "yeah, we should do something, I'll call you when I know my schedule" and then he wouldn't call and I'd be all "BITCHCAKES!" and would curse the phone and eventually go out with my friends and get pissed at a local bar and then run into the guy as I was coming out of the mens' room (the ladies' was occupado, of course) and then have this totally awkward conversation since I had seen him flirting with a half dozen blondes earlier and had written something nasty about him on the chalkboard over the toilet.

So, I'm going to do as Jody has said and vote with my feet and if you do come crawling back, I will expect some courtesy discount for my trouble (10% should just about do it).

Sincerely,
Crankymouth

In Other News...

2008-10-20T22:07:00.000-05:00

...Violet had her first ever dental appointment and barfed twice today (unrelated...I think...), once after the first nap and once while in the grocery checkout line.

Hopefully she'll do better keeping things down tomorrow.

Be Careful What You Wish For

2008-10-20T21:41:00.000-05:00

It comes as no surprise to those of you who've known me for more than five minutes that I'm spending more time on the throne these days, which means I've been able to catch up on those teetering towers of magazines that have piled up over the last few months.

In the past week I have read not one but two stories in Self about women who were suffering from either a mysterious disease or a known disease that had gone undiagnosed for several years (Morgellons and Lyme disease, respectively).

Both of these women were quoted as saying something to the effect of "I wish I had cancer, then people would believe me/we would know what is wrong with me/etc."

These crazy bitches have obviously never had cancer or known anyone with cancer. I would gladly explain to them at great length and great volume how fucking nuts they are for having said this.

Chemo Brain Blame Game

2008-10-20T11:28:00.000-05:00

While at Whole Foods yesterday, I ran into a woman who looked vaguely familiar, and then once she saw me, looked at me with a face of recognition. Uh-oh.

I put on my friendly face, making small talk, all the while trying for the life of me to place this person, which really shouldn't have been hard considering how short the list is of people I know in town.

She tells me she's recently [re-]married and says I'm looking good (Does she know about my "condition?" How much?) and asks about Violet and I am mentally scrambling as I rack my brain to try to place this person and then before I know it we're parting ways and I'm still as clueless as I was before.

It was somewhere between the dairy section and the cereal aisle that I realized that the woman was the professor of the class that I abruptly dropped out of after getting diagnosed.

I eventually caught up to her and apologized for not filling her in on how I'm doing and let her know that I'm done with treatment and while I partly filled her in because I imagine she was curious I also wanted to make sure she knew that I wasn't making up a reason to bail from her class, which was almost as difficult as it was dull.

Whole Paycheck Responds to the Economic Downturn

2008-10-19T11:57:00.000-05:00

Love Whole Foods? Hate how spendy it is? I've got great news that comes in the form of a printable coupon!

Take $5 off of a $25 purchase, expires 10/22.

Organic milk just got a smidge cheaper.

Trials and Tribulations of a Semi-Urban Homeowner

2008-10-19T09:43:00.001-05:00

How hard is it to find an outdoor wall sconce with a motion detector that isn't totally fug?

Mommy Nerdism of the Day

2008-10-17T21:30:00.001-05:00

If loving Murray and Ovejita is ~~wrong~~ totally lame, I don't want to be ~~right~~ cool.

Happy Birthday, Matty Matt Matt!!

2008-10-17T12:03:00.000-05:00

Thanks for getting born when you did so Karen and I could fly down to Monterey to celebrate with you nine years ago and I could initially dislike, get drunk with, and smooch on the man who would one day become my husband!

Love you, MMM!

PS: Your wife ain't bad, either! xo!

Catching Up

2008-10-15T21:09:00.001-05:00

I'm way overdue for a recap of our week back east (and I know the longer I put it off, the less likely I am to actually do it), but that's going to take more time than I have this second, so let me give you the wee-cap:

Violet was a-MAZ-ing on both the flights out and back. Seriously. I've said it before and I'll say it again: we SO won the baby lottery.
They both said "I do."
My friends rule.
So does my family.

I Swear This Blog Isn't Going to Turn into MCD II, Electric Boogaloo

2008-10-14T20:28:00.000-05:00

When I saw this on this week's Post Secret, I not so secretly wished that it was submitted by someone I know.

Fancy!

2008-10-13T18:45:00.000-05:00

Matty and Amanda got married!!!

I'll Give You My Endoscope When You Pry It From My...

2008-10-06T21:04:00.000-05:00

...well, you know the rest.

Study Concludes Colon Cancer Screenings Can Stop at 75.

Yeah, no offense or anything, but I think I'll stick to getting a scope every year or two from here on out.

Let me just highlight the following:

Colon cancer is the country's second leading cancer killer. Nearly 50,000 Americans are expected to die of colorectal cancer this year.

As I've said in the past, if your doody is red, get your pooper inspected!!

Travelin' Toddlers

2008-10-06T16:06:00.001-05:00

Calling all parents! We are going to be taking our first trip via air with Vi this week. Rather than save a few bucks, we decided to bite the bullet and get her her own seat because while a 6 month old does well in a lap, a 15 month old does not. Not my mine, anyhow (referring to both baby and lap).

Please leave any and all insider tips you may have picked up along the way in the comments--thx!

Weekend Update: Go Pack Go!

2008-10-06T15:46:00.000-05:00

Saturday was spent watching college football (Woo Irish! Hooray Navy!) and Sunday was spent watching pro. Live. At Lambeau.

That's right, Jody, Vi and I made the pilgrimage to Green Bay at a relatively early hour yesterday to meet up with ND friend, fellow Cheeseconsinite, and once-upon-a-chegger Anne Marie, who not only hooked us up with tickets to the game against the Falcons but also took care of Vi while we were at the game!

Other than the distance covered (~2.5h with a touch of stop and go on the way in and out), it was the world's easiest process: Anne Marie gave us fantastic secret squirrel route directions, guided us to a residential neighborhood right on top of the stadium where the home owners were letting folks park on their lawns (and use their WCs, apparently).

We were able to find a house very close to the stadium (critical for just-in-case considering my "condition") that put us in a slot that was easy to get out of on the other end (without having to drive over the curb) and strolled on in.

The seats were fantastic--about half way up in the end zone with great neighbors all around--and I was pleasantly surprised with the quality of the stadium's pizza (DiGiorno, FWIW) since keeping veg in the home of the [meat] Packers is no small feat.

We only stayed until the end of the third quarter (of course that's the time they decided to rally)--partly to beat traffic, partly to relieve Anne Marie of her duties, and partly because my lower back isn't cut out for bleacher sitting these days-and make a hasty get away after retrieving our spawn and taking the back way to the high way past these ridiculously large new construction houses along the Fox River.

We were pretty pooped at the end of it all (picked up a pumpkin spice latte @ *$ on the way ome--I lurve fall), but it was great to be home by dinner time and have a few hours to power down before hitting the rack for the night.

Thank you, Anne Marie (and AM's folks)! We really had a terrific time and so apreciate your generosity. If there's ever the chance for us to repay your hospitality, please let us know!

In other news, I think I just knocked down my argument for getting a Dyson a bit as I just vacuumed all the nooks & crannies--high & low--in the basement. Those spiders were getting way too big for my taste.

Mayor of Squaresville

2008-10-03T15:52:00.000-05:00

I had a bunch of business (or should I say "business") cards made up with the intention of being more social when it comes to connecting with other moms at playgroups and co-op daycare and other stuff that I'm hoping to engage in but as yet haven't really. GAWD, I'm such a loser suburban cliché.

I was actually about to post a picture of them (the cards, not the moms) when I realized that I would pretty much have to black out all of the info. I'm not that bright, but take my word for it that the cards are cute.

In other news, Violet can identify bubbles in books and real life (even tho her word for "bubble" and "bottle" sound pretty interchangeable) but has yet to start to referring to me as mama. :::sigh:::

I Got the Angina

2008-10-02T21:04:00.001-05:00

OMG if I live to see the end of election season it will be a miracle.

Sweetmerciful crap, Palin makes my head hurt.

Something's Different...

2008-09-29T21:52:00.001-05:00

The blog is dead.

Long live the blog.